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UMass Lowell hockey horoscopes

Michaela Hyde

Conector Editor

Aries: They can’t fight in college hockey. And neither can you, so tone it down before security shows up.

Taurus: Won’t stop drinking awful beer and spraying nacho crumbs on the person in front of them whenever they cheer.

Gemini: Probably has the other team’s swag on them in case their team loses.

Cancer: Pregamed way too hard and won’t stop crying over any good saves.

Leo: Please stop posting game selfies to show off your #UMLpride. We get it; you look fierce with face paint and blue is definitely your color

Virgo: Panics every single time the puck comes near the goal. Every. Time.

Libra: Always swipe right for hockey players.

Scorpio: Please stop screaming about the goalie’s mom. Please.

Sagittarius: Always wants to start The Wave and owns at least three morph suits. Stole the Rowdy head once.

Capricorn: Spent too much time looking up stats on both teams and has swindled half their friends betting on the game #hustler.

Aquarius: Complains about the price of food, where their friends chose to sit, how loud the crowd is, etc. etc. etc. but live tweets the entire game #riverhawknation

Pisces: Somehow knows all the words to the fight song and gets embarrassingly excited whenever they’re on the Jumbotron. May or may not join the Fat Chicken eating contest. Rode a Zamboni once.

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UMass Lowell Political Science. Social Media Editor. Politics and professional sports. Media and makeup. Follow @kaylaaakaliope for endless sports rants.